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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
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| Sunday, July 12th, 2009 |
uncleamos
|
10:44a |
Speechless
I'm still not sure what happened last night. I was in 328 with my parents, and I was saying that I was pleased that Stairs had finally rung the bell so my parents could see it light up. Then J-Roll reached and I explained that the Phillies always lose with the tying run at the plate because it's more exciting. Then at some point I said "And the tying run will bat in the person of slugger Ryan Howard," and everything else was screaming. I do remember that when Ibznez ripped a first-pitch double off his bat, I thought for a moment that I was seeing an instant replay on the entire field. Too many games on TV, I guess! The moment the game ended the rain finally started. It was pretty much a perfect night. (I have wanted to take my parents to a game for some time, and last night was the only possible day this year. I paid rather a lot for StubHub tickets. TOTALLY worth it!) |
| Saturday, July 11th, 2009 |
shadowlynn
|
11:59p |
July 11 2009
Almost July 12. Writing every day is hard. I skip and miss days. Not for lack of interest but because I get busy and lost. Okay.. Friday work, home groceries, DRIVEN TO MURDER was canceled because we had b=no reservations. Very disappointing. However, it is the first show and it may take some time for this to get established. I will keep talking it up and hope it takes off. So Friday evenign I got to do grocery shopping, meet friends for dinner and then see the movie WHATEVER WORKS. The message is fun and worthwhile but Woody Allen (writer & Director) beats it to death. Saturday was spent running errands and then Misha & I took mom out for manicure & pedicure. We each got one and then Mom & I got haircuts. Mom's is a shingled Bob which is very fetching and low maintenance and I just got a trim. Her ace was red and scaly when we first arrived at St Francis so we also bought her some Aveeno Calming face cream. After just one use her skin looked better. The we took her home. Rented the movie INKHEART. Not what we expected. Very mature and well done. Drank a lot of wine and Misha is asleep now. I wil go to bed after I finish this post. Which is now. No deep thoughts, no philosophical stuff.Good nite. |
shadowlynn
|
11:47p |
Writer's Block: Lights Out
During Hurricane Donna, my family was living in Rhode Island. When the power went out, we spent days cooking on the wood stove in the house we were renting, telling stories by candle light, and sleeping in the front room so we could evacuate if needed. |
fritterfae
|
10:28a |
Good News Always Sleeps Til Noon
My mother called me on my way to work. I didn't feel the phone buzz in my pocket as I was walking at the time and these shorts are pretty loose fitting. She left me a message to call her back on her cell phone and I can't get through to her. The only thing I can do at this point is speculate as to what's going on. There are any number of likely scenarios, none of which are pleasant. To be honest, whenever my mother calls me these days, it's usually not pleasant. It's either desparate need, illness, or death in the family. It's never just wanting to talk to me. There is always some kind of news about something serious. So, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. If she called me at 8:45 in the morning on her way out the door to work, it can't possibly be good. The two most likely scenarios are that either my grandmother who is suffering from seriously degenerative cancer has succumbed to it or is about to, or because neither of my mother's jobs meet her cost of living threshhold she is behind again on bill payments and threatening of reposession, suspension of services or foreclosure on the house. I don't want this to be about any of those things, but the threat of something even more unknown is almost worse. Now I'm just hoping she'll call me back when she gets a break from work. Now for me to get back to work and stop fretting as best I can. |
| Friday, July 10th, 2009 |
seer_eridanus
|
11:38p |
Bless us. It's been 5 days and I can't get this entry out of me! It's full of ruminations and angst and wellness and frustration and love. Someday soon. Bless us all! |
fritterfae
|
1:12p |
Mini Notes
BooksI've started the fifth book in the Meredith Gentry Series. Damn you Teddy for getting me hooked on another series! But I have to admit, he was right. It's an excellent piece of work. Of course I've got my quibbles with it; the sex takes precedence over the mystery, the mystery is never all that mysterious, that's about all. I like the politics, and I like the Faerie stories she weaves into it. I love where it's going, I just wish it would get there! TVI've been watching mostly just Kathy Griffin and True Blood. That's about it. Gonna watch Torchwood once the series is complete (which I'm guessing is tonight?). Last night we watched the new Margaret Cho special "Beautiful" which was really funny. While I don't have the finale song stuck in my head, "Force Quit" is indeed still running through there. WorkWork is going as well as ever. Due to ALA taking everyone away, despite my vacation I've been able to actually get caught up on things! Huzzah. I put in my application for promotion and hopefully given time things will progress. HomeThe mice are back... This is an unfortunate situation, but we're dealing with it. Closing the trash, working on closing up all the open food, and hopefully we'll get the hang of doing the dishes more regularly. Once that's all done they'll more than likely get around to eating the poison traps. Gotta work on the backyard as well. It looks like the patio furniture we bought is being reclaimed by the earth as it's completely covered in vines. Always work with a home. SpiritualityAfter a lot of conversations and a lot of interest I think I'm going to go to a Quaker meeting. Maybe not every week, well, I can't go every week anyway, because I work some Sundays. But we'll see how it goes. I remember going to the meeting in Dupont. It was actually pretty nice. I ordered a few books as well, I wonder if they'll arrive today? If anything I need to start establishing some kind of more regular practice, and meeting is nice. That's about all I've got. |
peaceofpie
|
5:06a |
Here is a more well-rounded picture of my current reality! I'm a little low on funds, but I'm not stressing about it. I'm trying not to spend money right now, to make sure I can pay my bills in August, since I don't get a paycheck until 8/31. But honestly, I don't need to worry that much. I planned so well for my road trip that I not only stayed considerably under budget, but actually saved money compared to how much I would have spent had I stayed home. I also have several massage clients scheduled already, a random bookkeeping gig, and plenty of earplug testing to keep food in my fridge and gas in my car. I'm weighing right now whether I can afford new clothes before I start work or whether I'm going to wait till I start getting paid. I'm back with my lymphatic drainage treatments, which are $65 a week, and that's a much higher priority than clothes. Also, I need new shoes, and they're 99% likely going to be new Crocs, unless I become aware of some compelling reason to do otherwise. The question is, what color??! My current pair is light blue. I have worn them out so bad that I can't safely walk in the rain anymore because the soles are flat! I've worn them just about every day of my life for 5 years. For $29.99 new shoes that's pretty fucking kick-ass. My massage therapist who does my LD treatments did some kickass energywork on me on Monday, pulled a lot of grief out of me, balanced me out really good. She also did some immensely helpful Reiki on my foot, which I am finding responds really well to energywork, and really poorly to any manipulative technique. I'm so fucking excited about my AmeriCorps job. I start in one month. I want to start now. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWNOWNOW. I am learning about patience. I know I need this time to do some important spiritual grounding work to sustain me during this year. So even though it is frustrating to have to wait, I get why it's important. Now if I can just be faithful to this and actually do the work, it will be really good. Even though there's a lot of emotional pain associated with my playing the guitar, the fact that I can physically play it is mindblowing. I played my guitar for half an hour today and I can still move my hands now. If I had done this 14 months ago, I would not have been able to move my left hand for days. It's still amazing to me that I can use my hands. Some of my gender issues directly related to my body and/or sexuality are coming up in a big way right now; the ones I've either repressed since childhood or started repressing during transition so I could deal with actually transitioning. I need to process some of this, but I don't know how. I'm falling in love with VNV Nation again. I would like to manifest a comfy couch. Currently I have no couch at all. I miss my FLGBTQC friends so much. It hurts, but it's kind of a good hurt. One Friend reminded us after Bonnie's death that part of the blessing of having a community like ours is that there are so many more people in one's life that will eventually die, and the same is true for having so many people to miss when they're not around. Having people that I love enough to miss this much is beautiful. I guess the thing that feels off is that I don't have anybody in Indiana that I miss that much when I'm away for as long as I was. I missed stuff like choir and my bed and being able to eat a great lunch at a restaurant for under $8, but there are no people here whose physical presence in my life fuels my vitality the way my Quakers do. I'm going to start attending Meeting in Bloomington and see if that helps. Current Music: "Sentinel" by VNV Nation |
| Thursday, July 9th, 2009 |
peaceofpie
|
10:23p |
I'm trying the guitar thing again. It still hurts to play, but not disablingly. The problem now is that I can't sing and play anymore. The wrong sounds come out. I spent two years adjusting to my new voice, I'm mostly at peace with it...but then I bust out the guitar and it's all fucked up. It's all wrong. It feels like I'm trying to do something that I'm not supposed to do anymore. I thought I would have to actually relearn to play the guitar, that once I got comfortable with where to put my hands, my voice would follow. It's not like that at all. The guitar has come back like it was never gone, like we hadn't lost years together. My hands know just what to do. I have always been able to play the guitar. But my voice can't do it. I try and try and try. It doesn't fit. I can't make it fit. The voice that went with the guitar is dead. I feel like I got robbed. Maybe if I had been able to play the guitar while my voice was changing this wouldn't have happened. But the guitar didn't get to transition with me. I couldn't use my arms. I couldn't play. I couldn't. I don't know how to explain what this is like to you. I'm sorry. I need to, but I don't know how. There are no metaphors I can think of. It's like...something I need is gone...but it doesn't feel wrong that it's gone. It feels horrible, but not wrong. It feels like I'm just not supposed to do this thing that I can't imagine not being supposed to do because I've always been supposed to do it so how is this even possible? Current Music: "Art of Conflict" by VNV Nation |
peaceofpie
|
12:14p |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) apollotiger: If I could make you a prostate of your own and give it to you I would peaceofpie: dude peaceofpie: that would be the best birthday present ever :D |
shadowlynn
|
11:46a |
July 8 2009
Yesterday was pleasant if a little blank. I put extra food out for Cerise the Cat and Weevil. Yes, Weevil is back. A little bigger but still tiny and cute. I would like to capture them and get them some vet care but I do not have the money at this time. So I'll keep feeding them and hope to tame the little one a bit. GHOSTBASHERS went very well despite having an understudy in the role of Qunitena. Vicki had surgery on her wrist and is out until next week so Emma stepped up and did and excellent job. Wendy in Boston still has trouble getting the reservations right so we occasionally have peopel upset because we don't kow about birthday packages. The veggies from Dominion Harvest arrived while I was in Williamsburg and they are really nice! Potatoes, squash, garlic, basil, cabbage, and such. Lovely, Local and fresh. I think I am getting an ear infection (right ear) so I will try drops of alcohol alternated with hydrogen peroxide. Shelton being neutered has not made any difference in his desire to bark while we are walking but he seems to be staying closer to me than he did before being neutered. While walking the dogs, I met another neighbor, Saddique (?) (say Sahdeek). He and his wife share a studio apt and work at Walmart up the road. They are about my age and ride everywhere on bicycles. He seemed to want to meet the dogs but Shadow was being odd about the bicycle so we sat on the grass and chatted a bit, giving Shadow and Shelton a chance to meet Saddique and be nice. Poor man was a bit afraid of them but I didn't realize that until we were sitting down. He really did want to meet them. Also read yesterday that five cups of coffee a day seems to retard the progress of Altzheimers. hmmmm maybe I should give Mom some chocolate covered coffee beans. Ross called me the other day and he is very pleased to be opening his new law office. Jusy, his wife, is thinking about quitting her job due to the stress and tensions invloved. Lexi, his daughter, will be heading off to Peru again this year to obtain the permits for her dig next summer. And Jen, her wife, will hold the fort for a month in Ann Arbor with their pups. Luke seems to be moving up in the world having moved into a slightly larger apartment all his own. I think that's about it for now. Except that I am looking forward to getting paid tonite for HDT and to opening nite at MMP tomorrow! Yay! |
| Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 |
peaceofpie
|
11:52p |
Wow, I'm bored. Here is another opportunity to ask me strange, random, existential, and/or thought-provoking questions. Go for it! I shall entertain myself by answering them. |
da_lj
|
8:49p |
On ending migraines
[I've not posted this partly because I don't want to jinx it, but at the same time- good news!] Excellent news even- I have a non-drug remedy for my headaches. It may have had something to do with: - a bunch of physio appointments to un-stick a few vertebrae in my neck; - a few (possibly ineffectual) acupuncture visits with same physiotherapist; And it definitely had to do with: - 9 days away at the Quaker confab, including some sort of "stress reset button" when I got handed an entirely different things to fixate on for the time there; - five minutes with my friend Amy, who is an acupuncturist/acupressure practitioner. - other factors, such as the very mellow massage I got from peaceofpie. But the real biggie was Amy's accupressure points- on Tuesday morning I mentioned to her I was disappointed that the acupuncture back home hadn't had any positive effect, and she said, why don't you try pressing your thumb fingernail on your other hand right [here] in the web next to your thumb? On the right hand if the pain's behind your left eye, and vice-versa? So I did, and blam, the headache went away in under 5 minutes of pressing on my hand! Woah. I got goosebumps. And the headache came back, and I did it again, and it went away again. I had read about those pressure-points before, and tried them, to no effect, but I wasn't pressing hard enough, and I didn't have the right part of my hand. All week I expected the migraines to come back just as bad. Instead they came milder and easier to get rid of. Like magic. And maybe there was magic involved; I don't know what all my friends were doing for me there... :) All the old triggers are still triggers: not enough sleep, stress... But the pressure-points win over both of them. Wow. Wednesday as an experiment I spent the afternoon in sun without sunglasses, and I got a dull headache. Yes, a boring dull headache- the kind I remember getting before the migraines took over a few years ago. The other big factor is stress- on Saturday morning I was feeling quite stressed about travel and having to re-enter normal life again- and the migraine went away with the pressure points, but I found I could affect how it came back, by doing bits of meditation and by telling myself sensible things like "I don't need to do everything on my todo list on the day I get back." "I won't forget my passport again, I've already checked it's in my pocket." And so on. This has felt like a successful science experiment- at this point I'm dealing with figuring out what I should do with the stress-factors so that they don't even get me to the headaches. And also, it still feels like magic. And I have yet another thing to be grateful for. |
peaceofpie
|
3:11p |
|
| Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 |
shadowlynn
|
10:50p |
GREAT DRESS REHEARSAL! The show on Friday should be fun! Today t work was odd because the internal network was down but the internet was up. So I could play on the Net but not do any work. After work I bought a new hairbrush. the old one was smelling badly and I could not use it. Then to the show in Williamsburg. So fun so good! The Michael Jackson funeral dominates the news. I enjoyed his music but was never what could be called a fan. I don't think I've ever believed so much in someone's celebrity status that i would swoon or cry over the death of a virtual stranger. I also turned on the internet to my phone. I plan to try it for a month to see if I use it, if I like it. On the drive to Williamsburg today I listened to a CD of positive affirmations. They lift my spirits and make me smile. The drive home was spent in silence which I also enjoy. |
quakers
[ funnel101 ]
|
3:16p |
Fail (Or: I am not a Good Samaritan)
Drove past a hitchhiker, didn't stop to pick him up. I know there are tons of safety reasons not to do that, especially for a woman alone in a car who's physically incapable of defending herself, but what it boils down to is that I didn't help someone who needed help. I drove right by. There was another time I failed to help someone that has really haunted me. Rob and I had just finished eating at a restaurant and had a take-home bag in the car. There was someone begging for change at the intersection. The light changed from red to green, we drove a quarter of a mile or so... and I realized we could have given the man the take-home bag of food. The food I hadn't enjoyed much, but didn't want to go to waste. We drove home. I don't really want a discussion about what I should have done in either situation or whether it's right for me to regret these choices. What I'd like is to hear about times when you could have helped someone and chose not to; the times that have stayed with you through rationalizations and reasoning. Current Mood:  disappointed |
peaceofpie
|
12:36p |
If anyone is interested in a visit from your friendly purple-headed travelling massage therapist, let me know! I will happily travel long or short distances. Prices are negotiable and barter may be acceptable. |
beckaandzac
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12:14p |
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beckaandzac
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12:13p |
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beckaandzac
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12:11p |
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beckaandzac
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11:54a |
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peaceofpie
|
10:40a |
The State of Indiana thinks that I should legally change my name. I think they should go fuck themselves, but I'm trying to come up with a more rational way to deal with this. I don't know why, but I just don't feel like it's time for me to legally change my name. I'm not committed enough to this name that I want to throw all that time and money into it, and I feel like I shouldn't have to do that to get a massage license. The response I got was "Yes, this will pose a problem as the State of Indiana requires that you submit proof of a legal name change if your name appears different on any of your documents." Like, seriously, that's all it said. Yes, this will pose a problem? GREAT, what are we going to DO about the problem? How is it even remotely useful to tell me "yes this will pose a problem"? Okay, well...now I get to figure out what to do about this problem. |
peaceofpie
|
9:08a |
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| Monday, July 6th, 2009 |
peaceofpie
|
10:36p |
Today I have been informed that I should find myself a friend with benefits. Or have someone find one for me. Given that I haven't even kissed another person since several genders ago, and pretty much hit the reset button on my sex life when I started T, don't even have the remotest idea how to find a friend with benefits or even what I'd do with one if I had one...this could be an interesting mission. Hmmm. I mean...I totally have at least a couple friends I would be totally into doing that with, but I feel like it would be so awkward to even bring it up that it's not worth risking the friendship, and it's not like I see them often enough to make risking the friendship worth it? I dunno. I don't understand how this works. The best was when I announced this in a group meeting tonight, and got the response "You JUST figured that out? I've been reading your LJ for two months and even I already knew that," and everyone else in the room who reads my LJ nodded. It was kinda surreal. |
ciaan
|
5:13p |
Oh, male privilege
Okay, so I have this list in my head of the times when I typically hate men-in-general. 1. When I'm having my period (because they don't have to suffer through that) 2. When I'm shopping for bras or bathing suits (because they don't have to suffer through that) 3. When they're sexually harassing me on the street or recently when I've been reading all this stuff about rape culture (because they are jerktards and HOW DARE THEY) I went into DC to see the fireworks on the Mall on the 4th. And of course, as during any huge huge crowded event on the Mall, at one point I needed to use the bathroom. And I realized there is actually a fourth item on my list. 4. When I'm in a huge line for the women's room and men traipse on into their restroom without any wait I can count on the fingers of one hand the times when a women's line has been shorter than a men's line, and most of those times were at gay events with mostly male crowds. Anyhow, it was after the museums closed, and I didn't want to use the portapotties, but the fireworks weren't starting for another hour so I wandered up a few blocks to a Starbucks. There were about three people in line at the counter for coffee etc and maybe ten women queued up for the bathroom, so I joined the line. After a minute this guy shows up and starts to head in, asking if the men's room is back there too, and the woman at the front of the line says, "we're using both." (These were the single-person kind of bathrooms.) Pretty much every woman in line shook her head at him and multiple people said some variation on, "you don't get to cut in line just because you're a man." (That's basically what I said, another woman said, "because you have a penis," you know, stuff like that.) He got really huffy and annoyed, and went to get a coffee, and as he was walking out he said all meanly almost right in my face, "fine, enjoy using the bathroom." Over the course of the half hour I spent waiting, the line built up to more than 25 people. Every guy who came in did pretty much the same thing: they started to walk past all the women standing in line, and got sent back to the back of the queue. And their faces! They were all completely and utterly shocked, annoyed, upset, horrified, when they were told no. They didn't expect to have to wait. And they certainly did not expect to have a group of women stand so firm against them and refuse to give them their special male stuff. Sure, because 20 women are going to stand in line for half an hour to use one bathroom, leaving the other empty and ready for you to waltz directly on in. Yeah, whatEVER. At one point a female employee walking past on her way to the breakroom said, "guys, you don't have to wait in line, that line is for the women's bathroom." And when the women said, we're using them both, she was a little surprised but went, "okay," and left. Then a bit later the man behind the counter started announcing, "guys, you don't have to wait in line with the women, that's the line for the women's room," he was also told, no, we're using them both, and he protested a few times but no woman in the queue was going to budge. The one in front of me even said, "yeah, clearly we're not living in a post-feminist world." I mean, waiting in line for that long sucks, but it's what you EXPECT when you go to a huge crowded event on the Mall. And with single-person bathrooms like that, I don't see why they are gender-labeled anyway. Just have two unisex single-person bathrooms and cut the BS out at the root. So to all the men who had to omgnoes wait behind women, I say to you, STFU and deal with it. And to all the women who held so firm in solidarity in that Starbucks on Saturday evening, I am very proud of you. I was glad to see so many of us united against men cutting in line, and it felt good to be at one with the crowd. Current Mood:  fierce |
fritterfae
|
3:05p |
Destiny
Just got back from my trip up to Faerie Camp Destiny in Grafton Vermont. Here's a little rundown of my activities there. Friday: Arrived at 1:00 a.m. We went up to the Crone Circle and hung out by the fire for a while. It was fun getting to know the few late night people up there. Saturday: Woke up early and headed up to breakfast. Sat through the beginning of the business meeting/intention circle. This was the "Governess" gathering and the purpose of it was to get people up to speed with the major decisions that were happening on the land and to have the annual changing of the guard with the people who are the titular heads of the organization. But Saturday was meeting day and the people involved talked about basically everything from cabin plans to kitchen designs to you name it. Meeting after meeting. I decided to just go to the heart circle for the afternoon. After that I walked the labyrinth and had a very private ritual in there. That evening they held he ritual for the changing of the coordination planet (board of directors). With it being a non-hierarchical organization they basically drew lots (Tarot Cards) among the people who were willing to serve. That was the coolest thing ever. Then the ritual went up to the labyrinth and then there was more drumming and fire circle. Sunday: Sunday was another business meeting and it was held in a meadow. I began to burn quickly and had to quit the circle early. The remainder of the day was spent in the kitchen doing dinner for 30 and making desserts to match. It was a glorious day full of Fritter's Apple Betty. Jesus, the number of apples I had to peel, core and chop was fucking ridiculous. I loved it though and I got high praise for it at dinner. The evening was capped off with goodbyes and another fire circle. Monday: We just wrapped things up and had breakfast followed by crossword puzzles and picking up the rest of the tent material. I really enjoyed my time at Destiny, and I would like to go back again. |
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